02.09.10
My Love/Hate Relationship with Exercise
I’ve never been one to voluntarily seek out any type of exercise. I’ve always loved sports and athletic pursuits in general, but have also always hated the physical exertion they require. Sweating, gulping for air, wondering if I may actually pass out or throw up… uh, no thanks.
Case in point: Many of my friends enjoy hiking and skiing and going for scenic runs in their idyllic New England neighborhoods. I enjoy taking in those beautiful sights too… but all while resting comfortably on my behind… in my automobile.
So in order to motivate myself to get back in shape (and “back” is used loosely here, because even though I was a high school athlete I’m not sure I’ve ever really been in shape) I decided to join a gym and shell out the big bucks for some personal training sessions. The reasoning behind that decision went a little something like this…
“Well, if I’m paying for a basic gym membership, then I’ll feel compelled to take advantage of it, right?”
Insert a flashback to high school when I begged my parents to buy me a gym membership one year for my birthday and then went… maybe twice???
“Okay well, if it’s really my money… Aw heck, better buy the training sessions so I have a definite reason to be at the gym.”
Scheduled session with a real person = Better chance of me showing up and working out.
And now that I’ve been a member of the YMCA for several months now, I can firmly assert that I still hate but also love exercising.
I hate feeling like I will never be able to breathe again. I hate feeling like my muscles will never not hurt again. I hate looking like a red, hot, sweaty mess of a person – which is what I become when I work out.
However, I love, love, LOVE the increased energy I have now. I love, love, LOVE the drastically reduced levels of stress and worry and anger I carry around now. (Exercise = Endorphins = A Happier Me). I love, love, LOVE that I’m learning to be a healthier person because on all the different levels – mind, body, and spirit – it feels really good. And that in turn has a positive effect on how I interact with others (especially folks I see regularly, like the BF).
When I’m sore and stiff from an excruciatingly hard work out, I jokingly tell myself, “I only put you through this abuse, Body, because I love you.” But it’s true. As I’m becoming more active again, I’m realizing that the parts I love far outweigh the parts I hate.
But somebody’s gonna need to remind me of this statement, when I can’t lift my arms to brush my own hair.
02.04.10
“I Gotta Feeling” – “Gotta Keep Reading”
I’m going to completely shift gears here for a second and share something that impressed and inspired me recently. Let’s be honest… We all need a dose of those warm fuzzies now and again, right?
Last fall a clip from Oprah’s Kick-off Show went viral. You know the one, I’m referring to? The flash-mob dance to the Black Eyed Peas’ song, “I Gotta Feeling”??? Love the song, love the dance, love the concept, love it. In case you missed it…
Then in December, I was watching my local news and saw this report…
Holy creative concept, batman! Way to get the kids engaged and excited about the reading process!! Final video was just recently released. Love the song, love the dance, love the concept, LOVE IT.
Enjoy!
01.29.10
Yes, I’m Asking “Why?”
So here’s the question that everybody asks at some point in their lives, but no one reaaaally knows the answer to…
Why do horrible, horrible things happen to good, good people?
The possible answers to this age-old question are endless.
“Because it’s God’s plan.”
“It’s meant to be.”
“It’ll make you stronger.”
“It just is.”
While I realize these answers are meant to be comforting, my immediate response is a big ole’ “f you”. It’s a load of crap. Really. Bad things happen to good people and that’s life. And it sucks. And I hate it. And I want it to stop right now. RIGHT NOW.
Is there some bigger meaning behind the suffering and the pain that some people have to go through? I’d like to think there is… And really what I mean is that I hope to God that it’s all not just some kind of universal being’s idea of a funny joke.
And those answers still don’t help me understand…
Why does my friend have cancer and I don’t and you don’t and they don’t? Why is Haiti in ruins and our country isn’t? Why do I have an abundance of food on my table and others don’t?
It’s not fair and I don’t get it.
The only answer that ever struck a teeny-tiny little chord with me was the following:
“Think about it this way… If you can get through all the really bad parts and still carry that love with you… you and the entire world will be a better place for it.”
Personally I’d still like to pass on the heartache it took to get to that place, but okay.
01.15.10
Haiti
I’ve been crying an awful lot this week…
I cried at the gym while I was on the elliptical.
I cried as I sat on my couch.
I cried as I lay in my bed.
I cried as I sat in my desk chair.
I’m crying now as I type this post.
The situation in Haiti as a result from Tuesday’s earthquake has moved me to tears, honestly more times than I can count. As I listen to reports and watch the coverage and read the articles and look at pictures I cry.
I honestly don’t know why this particular catastrophe has affected me so profoundly.
Maybe it’s the proximity of the crisis. The damage and the destruction and the loss and the heartache unfolding right now are just across the water – right over there.
Maybe it’s because when I see the little injured children – or worse the little sheet-covered bodies that line the rubble-filled streets – I see the face of the little girl I mentored. A Haitian who was lucky enough to be here Tuesday evening where she and her family live now and not in their native land.
Maybe it’s because of the dire situation of the country before this even happened. About 80% of the people living there live below the poverty line. Did this tiny, yet cultural rich country even stand a chance? With few welfare resources and a very shaky infrastructure, it seems that foreign relief organizations were supporting and helping much of the population.
Now those relief workers’ pictures along with thousands of others’ photos are posted on websites by their loved ones asking for information on their whereabouts, on their safety.
Mixed in there with my sadness and my feelings of despair are also twinges of guilt and remorse. And so I cry. Could something more have been done before to prevent the devastation that’s occurring now?
Regardless, action needs to be taken ASAP to help our neighbors. And luckily it is. Internationally, nationally, and locally. My local FL news reported a story about a woman who called up a donation center and donated $4 – which was all the money she had in her bank account. Rough times for her personally, but she still wanted to help…
So much death and turmoil and heartbreak… and then that little kernel of love and compassion, kindness and generosity.
01.07.10
Turn That Frown Upside Down
The United States post office has become the bane of my existence. In the past couple of month they’ve lost several pieces of my mail and made me wait in lines that rival those of a woman’s bathroom line at any bar or club on a slammin’ Saturday night. Just slap a stamp on the package and get on with it already! Sheesh!
The folks who work at my local branch are very nice, but I think post offices are – in general – meant to test your sanity. If you make it out of there without completely losing your mind, you’re gonna make it through anything. ANYTHING.
Obviously I’m exaggerating (a bit) here, but the moral of the story is swinging by the post office is not my favorite errand. Not even close.
So the other day I was standing there in the dreaded post office… for many, many minutes… listing all the ways I could be better using my time (working, getting gas, paying my water bill, traveling to space) when the tiniest elderly gentleman behind me said, “Smile!”
I wondered what poor sap he was addressing and snapped out of my reverie to realize… that poor sap was me!
I flashed him a sheepish smile, replacing what was probably (and by “probably” I mean “definitely”) a menacing scowl.
“That’s better,” he cheerfully said. And the line moved along.
As I walked out of the post office I was, true to form, a little less sane due to a frenzied search for yet another misplaced package, but this time, without the usual furrowed brow and frustrated frown.
This time I had made it out with a smile.
12.31.09
2010, Here We Come!
Another year is fast approaching. And as 2010 hurdles towards us, I concede I’ve had some concerns about this here little blog. Such as…
Would a blog titled, “New Year, New Outlook” still be relevant? Where would it go after 2009? Could the same message be carried over into the next “New Year”?
Answers:
Yes.
Onward and up!
Yes.
As my little ole’ letter to Santy revealed, there’s still a whole lot of work to be done. I’ve still got tons of stories to share, embarrassing encounters to reveal, and more thoughts and musings to ponder along my journey towards this unconditional loving mindset.
So first of all, thank you (as always) for reading and joining me along this last year.
Secondly – and most importantly – enjoy your bubbly (in safe, legal doses of course!) and I’ll catch you next year!
12.23.09
A Letter to Santa
Dear Santa,
(It’s been awhile since we last corresponded. Probably over 15 years, so please forgive me if my letter writing skills are rusty….)
Hello! I hope this note finds you, Mrs. Claus, the elves, and all the reindeer in good spirits and with joy in your hearts. I know it’s unusual to hear from someone my age, but I have a pretty unusual gift request. And since you’re SANTA (!!!) I figured if anyone could make it happen, it’d be you.
See, all I want for Christmas is… love and happiness.
Now please don’t misunderstand me. This is not a selfish request. I want there to be love and happiness FOR ALL. Which is, as you can imagine, the tricky part.
Now my dilemma is I’ve tried putting that message out there for the past year or so. I’ve tried to be unconditionally loving and happy. For myself, yes, but also for those around me.
It’s hard though, Santa. I have tried to carry that love with me throughout my days, but it’s difficult to see the good sometimes when there is just so much bad. Sometimes things are just so awful. Sometimes I just can’t.
I watch the news and see reports of murders and rapes and child abductions.
I read the newspaper and see photos of young men and women who have been killed in war.
I listen to the radio and hear about the hungry, the homeless, the sick.
I talk with my friends and family and share in their grief, their hardships, their worries, just as they do with mine.
And if it’s hard for me, I’m sure it’s hard for many others. So here’s my promise: I’ll keep trying, if you’ll keep trying.
If I learned anything from this last year, it’s that I can’t go it alone. Most people can’t. Whether it’s a warm smile from a stranger or a random text message from a friend, it all helps.
So Santa, if you could, please try your best… if you don’t mind, sir… to spread around the love and the joy as you dole out those gifts this year, and I will continue to do my part as well.
Well, that should do it for this year. Thank you for reading my letter. I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season.
With love and gratitude,
Marissa
12.21.09
Make a Snowflake!
I hear there was a pretty outrageous snowstorm (or was it officially a blizzard?) that hit the Northeast this weekend. Meanwhile I almost died last night at my work Christmas party which was outside… and it was (only) in the 30’s!! I am officially a Floridian now, I guess. Folks from the NE area are probably sick of seeing snow… but it is almost the 25th, and many other people across the world are still hoping for a white Christmas.
Soooooo, why not make your very own snowflake to get you in the mood? A fun website find shared with me by the BF.
Let it snow, let it snow! (But only pretty, internet snowflakes that don’t require shoveling, right?)
12.16.09
A Game of Hide and Seek with Holiday Spirit
Now that November has ended and December has arrived, I thought I’d have time to breath again. I thought my schedule would slow down and I’d get to stop all the running around… dashing here and there.
Um no. In fact that is farthest from the truth. I have Christmas cards to address, presents to buy, packages to mail, yummy treats to bake. And just when I think I’m done… Whoops! There’s another errand to finish, so out I go. Ack!
So with all the craziness, with all the lists, with all the chores and tasks, where is that darned holiday spirit? Sometimes I feel like all the running around I’m doing is actually some kind of scavenger hunt where the end prize will be HOLIDAY SPIRIT. If I run around and search really, really hard, I’ll find it.
I thought maybe it would appear when the Christmas decorations went up or when I mailed out my Christmas cards or when I heard my first Christmas carol.
Nope. Not there. I did finally find it though and low and behold it was in some pretty simple places…
- I found it today when the child I mentor read me a Christmas story and then we colored Christmas cards together.
- I found it last Friday when I volunteered to help at a local food drive for Second Harvest Food Bank. (The need this year is greater than ever. For obvious reasons, donations are way down, but the need is way up.)
- I found it last week when my friends posted pictures and videos of their precious, hours old baby boy.
- I found it two weeks ago when the community group from school where I work, volunteered at a Christmas Village for abused and neglected children.
Hmmm. Surprise, surprise I found that holiday spirit when I took a moment to give back in some way or when I was reminded of the love of my family and friends. It sounds pretty obvious and straight-forward, right? A huge “duh” moment.
But when you stop and think about it… Wait! There is no time to stop and think about it because we’re all too busy getting ready for the holidays! We’re so busy preparing, that sometimes the really good stuff… all that true holiday spirit stuff… just gets glossed over.
So I really can’t stress this enough: Take some time this season to remember “give” and “thanks”. Remember to give back to your community and help those in need. Maybe it’s a monetary donation to your favorite charity. Maybe it’s bringing some items to a food drive. Maybe it’s volunteering to feed the homeless or visit shut-ins. Whatever. THAT’S what this holiday season is all about.
And then be thankful. Even if the situation seems bleak and dark… find the love, find the good and be thankful. Be with your family and surround yourself with their love and light.
And now it’s time for a little story…
A couple months ago when I was working with that organization, Help for the Homeless, at their Saturday morning food sharing sessions, I was chatting with a man. He was there to have a meal and then pick up a new shirt from the clothing donations.
“Thank you for being here today,” he said to me and the other volunteers.
“No, need for thanks!” I replied.
“No, it means a lot to me (and to most of us even if not everyone says it) that you all come.” He continued, “Things haven’t been the best for me lately, but it’s another day and I’m alive and now I will have this food to keep me going. So yes, thank you’s are in order.”
A little while later, I had a dizzy spell from the heat and actually fainted. Yup, I was THAT girl. Rescue was called and everything. I ended up being fine (just completely and utterly embarrassed). When it happened though another gentleman, there also because he was homeless and needed a meal, graciously offered me his water.
“I haven’t opened it yet,” he told the BF who was there with me. “She needs it more than I do right now.”
“Give” and “thanks”: Lessons we should take with us not just during this holiday season, but throughout the year (scratch that) all our years. A lesson I’m still in the process of learning and one that continues to help me inch by inch towards this New Outlook…
12.11.09
Tis The Season…
“Give” and “Thanks” – Two words that really hit home this holiday season. Keep them in mind (if ya could please!) because my next couple of posts (which will be soon!) will deal exclusively with these topics. Lots going on that I can’t wait to share with you all!
And in that spirit, please, please watch this video. An amazing story from the Today Show which left me inspired, overwhelmed, and ready to confront whatever life may throw at me.
Despite the obstacles, the heartache… we can all keep on climbin’.
Happy first day of Hanukkah!
